Colossians 3:18-4:1
Again, we have the privilege of looking into God’s Word to hear what He is saying to us. The time we spend with the Bible is an investment, and we thank you for joining us for this study in Colossians. As we examine some practical guidelines for our relationships, let’s not forget that the theme of Colossians is the supremacy of Christ. Remember verses 15-20 in chapter 1? Our majestic Messiah is over all creation and everything, and I mean everything, is subject to Him. This is our starting point, so when He tells us how to live, we pay attention; this is for our good.
Today, we continue the practical lesson of applying God’s wisdom to our relationships. Last time, we examined guidelines for marriage, which are areas where we can all grow and improve. Today, we will discuss the practical aspects of family relationships and employment relationships.
If you can turn to Colossians 3, J Mark will begin reading at verse 18, and we will finish the second part of our teaching on God’s social contract.
Last time, in our ongoing study of the book of Colossians, we came to the Apostle Paul’s teaching on human relationships. Our study is “God’s Social Contract.” I believe that most of the social ills of our day are directly traceable to our abandonment of God’s social contract, the guidelines He’s given us in His Word for healthy, functioning families and society.
I invite you to listen carefully as I read our text, Colossians 3:18 to 4:1.
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.
21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
22 Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God.
23 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord and not unto men,
24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.
25 But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality.
4:1 Masters, give your bondservants what is just and fair, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.
This text outlines the GUIDELINES God has established for the flourishing of human relationships in a well-ordered society.
The Next GUIDELINE addresses,
Relationships in Families
As in the husband-wife relationship, reciprocal duties are also present in the parent-child relationship. Here, the children are given a clear, succinct command – “…be obeying your parents in all things…” And the fathers are commanded to “…not be provoking their children…”
This command for children to obey their parents contains the idea of “hearing under.” That means that children should listen attentively. One needs to hear the command clearly before it can be obeyed. Some would also add that the command must be understood before it can be obeyed. However, that depends on the child’s age. Tone of voice and facial expression communicate the command with very young children who can’t understand the actual words. Obedience training should begin almost from birth.
The command to obey one’s parents is one that sorely needs strengthening today. The disobedience and disrespect of children toward parents and other adults in our day is appalling. However, the children don’t bear the blame for that; the parents do. Rebellion is in the human heart from birth! Children must be TAUGHT to obey by their parents.
Many children, whether in single-parent homes or homes where both parents are employed outside the house, are essentially left to raise themselves. Children are being neglected by their parents and forced to make choices and decisions that they’re not intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually equipped for.
Paul closes the instruction for children to obey in the same way he did for wives to submit; it is well-pleasing to the Lord. It is pleasing to Him because it recognizes His plan for human flourishing. In his letter to the Ephesians, he adds the general principle that those who obey and honor their parents can usually expect a long and fruitful life.
In the role of parental authority, Paul mentions only the father. That doesn’t imply that a mother’s role and influence aren’t important. We know better than that. What it does tell us is that the father’s role is the key to success in the parent-child relationship.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they be discouraged.” The KJV reads, “Provoke not your children to anger,” but the last two words are italicized, indicating that the English translators added them. Once again, the grammar commands us to shun this behavior and to stop it if it’s already occurring. So, how do fathers provoke their children?
One way fathers provoke their children is directly connected to the command for the child to obey. Fathers too often don’t give clear commands or instructions. They assume their wishes or expectations are understood, so they don’t explain them carefully. When their expectations aren’t met, they often respond in anger. In younger children, this leaves them confused and makes them feel like they can’t please Their Dad. In older children, fathers can give too much direction, making the child feel like they don’t know much.
Another way fathers provoke their children is through inconsistency. Consistency in the discipline and training of children is one of the most challenging tasks of parenting. If a child is told that specific behavior is unacceptable, the enforcement of that command must be consistent. However, if the father is tired or distracted by work or personal interests and overlooks the infraction of the rules, the child learns quickly that Dad doesn’t mean what he says.
When negative behavior is overlooked in one instance but disciplined the next time it happens, the child becomes confused and exasperated. They may become so dispirited that they give up trying to please Dad. Many times, throughout my parenting, I needed to apologize to my children and ask for their forgiveness for failing to be consistent and gracious in my discipline.
I will highlight one more area – hypocrisy. When fathers expect their children to obey them, but they, in turn, refuse to follow the authority over them, children are quick to pick up on that. Alternatively, it may be that the father demands behavior from his children but then fails to live up to his standards. If the children are disciplined for their failures but Dad excuses his, that is a recipe for resentment and disillusionment.
However, as Christ-followers, we have been given the remedy for these social ills. If we are letting the peace of Christ rule in our hearts, if we are letting the Word of Christ be “at home” in us, and if we are letting the name of Christ motivate our choices and our actions, then obeying these guidelines for families will be an overflow of our relationship with Jesus! We will be blessed, our culture will be healthier, and God will be glorified!
The Final GUIDELINE addresses,
Relationships in Employment
Just as the instruction for families is much needed today, so too is the instruction for employee-employer relationships. The motto for many today is “the least work for the greatest amount of pay.”
As we examine the final verses of our text, we immediately notice the differences between our time and the times during which Paul wrote. Paul addresses masters and slaves, a relationship common in his time but not prevalent in most developed countries of the world today. Just as in the previous commands, he lays obligations on both parties. However, the principles laid down here also apply equally to our current employer-employee relationships.
As is common in his letters, Paul again gives his first instruction to those who are under authority. Servants, or employees, are to obey their employers’ instructions in all things. Unless, of course, that instruction violates clear commands of Scripture. This is one reason why Christ-followers should carefully consider their workplace choices. However, even among those engaged in honorable occupations, there may be employers who ask employees to break the law or remain silent when laws are broken. That isn’t acceptable for those who follow Jesus.
Employees are expected to perform their required tasks diligently, not just when their boss is watching. Attempting to curry the boss’s favor by extra displays of false enthusiasm is something that Paul states shouldn’t be part of our service. We are to work with sincerity, because we fear the Lord. Our work is to be consistent and sincere because we know that ultimately, we will receive our reward from Christ Himself. Appearances don’t fool our heavenly Master, and our works will eventually be judged and our rewards assigned accordingly.
The reason for our diligence is the realization that we’re doing our work for the Lord. Considering this, we should approach our work with enthusiasm and a good disposition. As God-fearing people, grumbling and complaining aren’t an acceptable part of our service.
If we serve graciously, we can be assured that God’s rewards to us will also be gracious. However, the opposite is also true; if we do what is wrong, there will be a just reward for that as well. The law of sowing and reaping applies in both cases, and it applies to the employer’s service to their employees as well. God doesn’t play favorites; He’s just in all that He does.
Finally, in chapter four, verse one, Paul provides guidelines on how employers should treat their employees. They are to give to their employees what is just and equitable, that is, what is fair and impartial. I’m using the word ‘equitable’ in the sense that the employer understands the employee’s abilities and provides them with the necessary tools to perform the job. The reasoning behind this command for employers is that there is a Master in heaven who is observing them. Just like employees, they too will receive a reward commensurate with their work.
Think about God’s social contract. Can you imagine how different the world would be if everyone followed these principles? How about if every person who professes to be a Christ-follower lived out these principles consistently? That would make a huge difference in our world. But that will only happen as we embrace the central focus of this entire letter to the Colossians – the preeminence of Christ. In other words, Christ is first in everything. And that is so hard for us, as our natural desire is to try to be first in everything.
I can assure you, fulfilling God’s social contract will never happen if we live only from a sense of duty. Our obedience must be motivated by love for God, which in turn results in love for our fellow men. Divine love is the answer to strained marriages, fractured families, employees with a sense of entitlement, and employers who exploit their workers.
We can be certain that God’s social contract guidelines are designed to foster the flourishing of human relationships in a well-ordered society. We can embrace His ways and reap the rewards, or we can follow our way and reap the consequences. Which do you choose?
We have been left with a choice, like so many things in life, the choice is ours. It is up to us whether we will apply this teaching or go on doing things as we have always done them. J Mark left us with precise results of the good that will happen when we follow God’s way. This is what is needed and what most people want. However, God will not force His way on us. He allows us to decide. For those who have surrendered to Christ, it’s our responsibility to grow in our knowledge of Him, and with His help, we are being molded and shaped to be more like Him.
If you have any response to today’s teaching or would like to contact us for any reason, here are a few ways you can reach us. The best way is by email; our email address is hope@heraldsofhope.org. Alternatively, you can message us online; our website is heraldsofhope.org. There, click on “contact us,” which is on the top right. We would love to hear from you, so please get in touch with us in the way that is easiest for you.
This brings us to the end of this two-part practical series. I thought about the comparison James used in 1:27. He says someone who hears God’s Word and doesn’t do it is like the person who sees himself in a mirror and then forgets exactly what he saw. May that never be said of us; let’s look at God’s Word, act, and be a doer of the Word.
